If you want to stand out in today’s culture practice the art of being fully present. Unfortunately, this practice is a dying art in our modern digital life. Just take a look around the room next time you’re sitting at a coffee shop or restaurant; you’ll see the majority of people looking at their phones. Even the people who are together in the environment are talking and scrolling simultaneously. If you want to take it even further, just observe your friends or family next time you’re in the living room. Everyone will be communicating with their phones more than they are communicating together. 

Studies have shown us the average iPhone user touches their phone 2,617 times per day. And that number is nearly doubled for Millenials. If not careful, we are drifting from our ability to be fully present with the people we are with. And in the context of relationships that proves to be a dangerous trend that will inhibit successfully working together.

So how do you become fully present?

1) Use Your Eyes

Make eye contact with people. Looking into the eyes of another shows you value them. It also exudes confidence in yourself and them. Try not to focus on distractions and looking away. And when in a team meeting look at the person talking, not your computer or phone. Not paying attention to someone sends the message they are not worth your effort. 

2) Use Your Face

Respond to people by allowing your face to express the appropriate cues. When someone is excited when sharing something, raise your eyebrows and show enthusiasm. When someone is heartfelt and serious lean in with concern. Practicing matching your face to the emotion of the conversation. This shows engagement and presence. 

3) Use Your Body

Body language accounts for much of our communication. Your physical demeanor speaks loudly to others. Face the person you are talking to, square your shoulders to them, this shows vulnerability and trust. Studies have shown that mirroring people’s physical behavior connects us to them. So work on sitting as they sit, moving as they move, and matching their body language. 

4) Use Your Words

Respond to people with verbal acknowledgment when they speak. Interject words and sounds that show you are tracking with them. Responding with your words validates their willingness to share, and it keeps you listening. Agreeing with people makes them feel you understand them. And remember, Dr. Stephen Covey taught, seek first to understand then be understood. 

Those are some thoughts to help you be fully present. But above all, if you’re going to spend the time with someone, bring your best self.