Connecting with others will require the skill to listen to what is being said “between the lines.” It is literally one of the greatest abilities a leader can have. Behind someone’s words is where their heart lies. That’s where you get to connect with another human being on a whole different level. Listening is about being fully present in the moment. When you focus on others, it takes a great deal of concentration. You cannot truly know how to encourage others unless you have listened to know what their needs are. If you listen very closely to what others are communicating, you can pick up on their needs. Based on what their fears, desires, hopes, and concerns are, you can then know how to connect and encourage them accordingly. Communicating is not just spouting off your agenda to those around you. It is about listening as much as it is about talking; focusing on the other person’s needs first. Leaders are great listeners. They understand that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason: to listen twice as much as we talk. If you want your team to be responsible in their efforts, be responsive to their specific needs. When you become a great listener, you begin to hear not only the words, but also the context of the words and the reason behind the conversation.

As part of my leadership coaching sessions, I specifically listen to the words a client is using and the way in which they use them. Everyone is conditioned to speak in certain phrases that unconsciously communicate their beliefs. This conditioning opens the door to point out issues that they may have never been consciously aware of. Many people unknowingly reveal patterns to their thinking and behavior if you listen closely to the way they communicate. Recently, I called a potential client who had asked for me to contact them about business coaching. Within the first few minutes of the conversation, immediately after introducing ourselves, the person quickly said, “How much will something like this cost me?” What struck me right away was the fact that the first thought that came to this individual’s mind was not expressing their goals, not asking about my ability to help them achieve greater opportunities, not communicating their desire to grow, it was how much money they were going to have to spend. This sounded like a normal question about cost, but that kind of thinking is exactly what it will produce…normal. Instead of pursuing me to help them double their income and break through the limiting factors holding back their company’s growth, they were most concerned about how much they would have to spend. Spending money is an important decision, but they missed an opportunity to possible make a connection that could have doubled their investment. The way people communicate indicates the type of thinking they live by.

Here’s the power statement for today…

Listen beyond the words that are being said and focus on WHY they are being said.