Confrontation is never enjoyable. No matter what personality type a leader possesses, they have to learn how to be candid and honest with their team. Trust is lost on the grounds of shady, shy, intimidated leadership. I admit candor has been a struggle for me as a leader because of my desire to please everyone. I am not a confrontational type of individual. It makes me uncomfortable and nervous when extreme tension arises. I thrive off of inspiration and positivity, so, for many years, I avoided being candid with team members. It cost me many mistakes and caused some heartache early on. I avoided removing people from positions that weren’t the right fit, and I didn’t hold people accountable for their actions. But I began to realize that if I was going to truly help others, I needed to be more upfront and honest with them.

I have found that the longer you wait to deal with situations, the more awkward it becomes to confront them. The time frame in which you deal with issues determines, to a great extent, the  outcome. If everyone around you is waiting for you to take action on a specific issue, it’s likely time for you to do something. The longer you wait to act the more respect and influence you will lose with your superiors, your peers, and those you are leading. As leaders, we must not avoid confrontation, but we do need to learn how to evade it. There is a fine line between these two things. Avoiding confrontation is to close your eyes and act as if it is not there and never dealing with it. This only makes things worse. But evading confrontation is a strategic way to work your way around it, if possible.

I have found that most “problems” that occur dissipate after the emotional dust settles. Challenges cause an immense amount of dramatic debris. If not careful, leaders can turn mole hills into mountains by reacting too quickly, in the moment, rather than responding collectively and calmly. Things can escalate rapidly if we try and deal with issues that, in fact, just need some time to resolve. Most people’s confrontational emergencies are actually rooted from knee-jerk reactions to an issue. Leaders have to balance the art of knowing which battles to fight. Clearly not every time a bell rings does an angel get its wings, and not every time a bell rings does a boxing match have to start, either. Never avoid confrontation, but don’t jump into it too quickly. Timing is everything when it comes to confrontation.