The other day I was at one of my favorite places to write and think, you guessed it, Starbucks.  While there a young teenage couple came in and sat down next to me.  I couldn’t help but hear their conversation with each other as they were about 3 feet from my table.  I had my headphones in, but their conversation overtook the music in my ears.  It was one of the most awkward conversations I have heard.  They must have just met and were trying to impress each other as she was giggling at every word he said, and didn’t say.  He was trying to communicate but was stumbling around things to talk about.  However, he did explain the entire story of, “The Lord of the Rings” to her, since she was unaware of it.  I just wanted to jump in and help moderate the conversation for this fun couple.  They had so much potential of things to talk about and ask, but were caught up in the awkward stage of communicating.  I am sure they had a good time and I am sure they will meet again for another Frappuccino in the future.

The experience got me thinking about communication.  We sometimes have a hard time communicating to others, especially when it is a first impression or someone we don’t know very well.  Everyone wants to make a good impression and be a smooth talker but many times we fall short of our expectations.  Communication is a fun and yet frustrating thing at times.  When we have something to say but it just doesn’t come out clearly it can really shake our confidence.  Communication is a vital element in life.  If we don’t learn how to communicate better we can miss opportunities and never maximize relationships.  The good news is communicating is a skill that can be learned.  Some people may be born with more of  natural ability to communicate, but everyone must learn and develop the art.  Some of the best communicators overcame stuttering problems, speech impediments, shyness, language barriers, etc.. by working at it and developing the skill.  So how do you learn how to communicate better? Here are 2 things you can start doing that will dramatically improve your communicating skills.

1. Study Great Communicators

One of the best ways to learn how to communicate is to copy great communicators.  Take the things you learn from them and apply them to your communicating style.  I listen to all kinds of communicators and basically figure out why they are so good and then try to emulate that.  Take your top 3 favorite communicators and study why they are so great.  They can be people you know or some that you just like to hear.  The reason you are drawn to them is because you hold within yourself something smilar to their style.  So study their every move and their ability that makes them so great.  Whenever I met someone new that has a great ability to communicate with me I reflect on what they did to make me feel so comfortable.  I then try to use that skill.

2. Practice Communicating

You will never learn to communicate better if you don’t practice.  Be aware of your conversations and figure out what is working and what is not working.  Do you get nervous? Ask yourself why, and then adjust.  Do you get tongue tied? Ask yourself why, then work on changing it.  Practice makes permanent, so practice doing the right things.  Don’t let fear of communicating keep you from stepping out and practicing new skills.  Think of every interaction with someone a chance to work on being a better communicator.  Be present in the moment and give it energy.  Communication requires energy and focus so practice.  The more you practice the better you will get.  And the better you get at communicating the greater your influence will grow.