Communicating is a vital skill that can change everything.  Most issues that arise in life are a result of poor communication.  At times it is a result of NO communication.  Learning how to communicate is something that can be learned.  It is an art that can take you places in life.  Someone who is poor communicator will never go as far as someone who is a great communicator.  It is not that they are not as good, but that they will miss opportunities for greater things.  Communicating is not just about speaking with a large audience, it is about everyday communication with other people.  If you do not learn how to become a better communicator you will limit your potential.  You don’t have to be a great orator, but you do need to have a level of connecting with others.  Communication is about connecting.  You will never be a great communicator if you don’t learn how to connect.  My mentor John Maxwell has a phenomenal resource called, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.” Fortunately as a Certified Speaker/Trainer/Coach with the John Maxwell team I am able to teach this subject to many people and organizations.  It has been a great tool that takes communicating to a whole ‘nutha level.  One of the things we teach is communicating is more about connecting than it is about conversing.  Anyone can converse, but few can connect with others.  So how do you connect with others?

1. Focus on the other person

You cannot connect with someone only talking about yourself.  The only way to get to know someone else and make them feel valued is to focus on them.  Have you ever talked with someone who you are talking to and they are looking everywhere but at you? It is frustrating, it makes you feel unimportant.  I have talked with people that are intently starring at me in the eyes as they talk, but when my turn comes to respond they completely tune out, only to tune back in when it is their turn.  That kind of person is not connecting, they are just condescending.  If you want to impact people and connect with them let the conversation be about them and their needs.

2. Focus on their needs

Connecting with other is about listening to what they say, it is about being present in the moment.  Focusing on their needs is responding to what they are talking about.  You cannot know how to connect unless you know what their needs are.  If you listen closely to what others are saying you can pick up on their needs and desires.  Based on what their fears, desires, hopes, and concerns are you can then know how to connect with them.  Communicating is about meeting the needs of others, not just yourself.  So how can you add value to others when you are communicating with them? By hearing their heart.  Listen to why they are saying what they are saying.  Listen to the real issues behind the words they are saying.