I recently have had an ear infection that has caused me to not be able to hear well. Everything sounds like I am in a cave with muffled sounds jarring my head. I have found myself saying, “Huh?” and “What did you say?” many times over the past week. This loss of ability to hear well got me thinking about the power of listening. Listening is vital to living a successful life.

We have to learn how to be great listeners. God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason…to listen twice as much as we talk. A person will never reach their potential to gain the respect of others if they cannot listen. Listening is more than just hearing though. Hearing is about the physical act of processing information, listening however is more than just intellectual it is emotional. Listening is about being fully present in the moment allowing the individual to hear beyond the words. It is about truly knowing what is being communicated from the heart of the person communicating it. Listening is about being aware of body language, tone, eye contact, and framing the context of what is being said. Peter Drucker said,

 “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.”

As a certified coach on the John Maxwell team I teach people how to connect by communicating. I share this humorous story to illustrate the importance of communicating, it is taken from John’s book “Everyone Communicates, Few Connect.”

A leader of a wagon train of pioneers was heading across the Western Plains. When a lookout spotted a cloud of dust in the distance moving toward them, they knew they were in trouble…when the leader of the settlers saw the tall figure of a chief silhouette against the sky, he decided to face the chief and attempt to communicate with him using sign language. Soon the chief backed away and returned to his men. 

“What happened?” the pioneers asked the leader.

“Well, as you probably saw, we couldn’t speak each other’s language.” he said. “So we used sign language. I drew a circle in the dirt with my finger to show that we’re all on in this land. He looked at the circle and drew a line through it.  He meant, of course, that there are two nations – ours and his. But I pointed my finger to the sky to indicate we are all one under God. Then he reached into his pouch and took out an onion, which he gave to me. Naturally I understood that it indicated the multiple levels of understanding available to everyone. To show him I understood his meaning, I ate the onion. Then I reached into my coat and offered him an egg to show our goodwill, but as he was to proud to accept my gift, he just turned and walked away.”

Meanwhile the warriors were readying for the attack and awaited the order from their chief, but the old warrior held up his hand and recounted his experience. 

“When we came face-to-face,” he said ” we immediately knew we did not speak the same tongue. That man then drew a circle in the dirt. I know he meant we were surrounded. I drew a line through his circle to show him that we could cut him in half. Then he raised his finger to the sky meaning he could take us on all by himself. Then I gave him an onion to tell him he would soon taste the bitter tears of defeat and death. But he ate the onion in defiance. Then he showed me an egg to tell me how fragile our position is. There must be others close by. Let’s get out of here.”

We have to grow our ability to include others, listen, and communicate in a way that connects with people. Respect is earned by listening. People connect with others by listening and including them. If a person fails to listen to others their is miscommunication, misguided feelings, and misinterpreted actions that can spiral out of control. In order to earn respect…respect the opinion of others and give them a voice! Larry King said,

“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.”

Don’t have a chronic case of ear infection listening syndrome (I made that up) by not hearing what others have to say. Listen just a bit more than you talk and see what happens…