The first thing we must do when failure occurs is to step back. Take a moment to back up from the situation and let the emotional dust settle. Many times, failure stirs up strong feelings that can cloud our judgment and the judgment of others. Step back and slow down before you or someone else makes a knee-jerk reaction. By simply stepping back from the situation, you will be amazed at the clarity it can bring. It gives a better perspective on the situation. And when you have perspective, you have a much better picture of what is really happening. Perspective can change everything about the context of a situation. We, as leaders, have to teach our team to always strive to get perspective on their failures. Here is a good example of the power of perspective.  This is a letter that a young college girl sent her parents…

Dear Mom and Dad,

Since I left for college, I have been remiss in writing and I am sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down. Okay?

Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival here is pretty well healed now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those sick headaches once a day. Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump were witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the Fire Department and the ambulance. He also visited me in the hospital, and since I have nowhere to live because of the burned-out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It’s really a basement room, but it is kind of cute.

He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning on getting married. We haven’t got the date exactly yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show. Yes, Mom and Dad, I am pregnant. I know how much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know that you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has a minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him.

I know that you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind, and, although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know your often expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by that.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you that there was no dormitory fire, I did not have a concussion or skull fracture, I was not in the hospital, I am not pregnant, I am not engaged, I am not infected, and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I am getting a D in Calculus and an F in Chemistry and I want you to see those marks in their proper perspective.

Your loving daughter,

 Susie

This young girl knew how to put things into perspective for others. Stepping back allows a leader to be proactive as opposed to just reactive. Reactive leaders get knocked off course easily. They are swayed by the emotions of the moment. They become bitter over circumstances, feeling insecure and out of control. Proactive leaders, on the other hand, are focused on what’s best. They respond with wisdom as they learn from circumstances, feeling confident in their response.