Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.”

Forgiveness must be genuine. You cannot fake forgiveness. Not only does God know what is truly in our heart but people see through our actions as well. There is a spiritual work that happens when true forgiveness is given. When there is fake forgiveness, there is no change in the situation. The burden, hurt, and offense still lingers around like a cancer eating away on the inside. True forgiveness is powerful. Fake forgiveness is powerless. In order for the power of God to come alive in a situation, forgiveness must be real and genuine. It must come from the heart not the head. Fake forgiveness is a heartless act that we have no ownership in. True forgiveness is a deep releasing from within us.

Be warned that true forgiveness will cause your flesh to squirm. It will cause you to wrestle with your sin nature. But when you let forgiveness be a lifestyle your life gets easier. You see, forgiveness is not an event that happens, it is a lifestyle that we live out daily. If you let an attitude of forgiveness govern your life you will always be ready for when you need to give it. But if you view forgiveness as a “when needed” act you will be taken off guard and not be prepared for it. When you chose to live a life of forgiveness you will always be genuine in what you do. Jesus lived a lifestyle of forgiveness. He was governed by compassion and a genuine understanding of others. His default was to forgive not defend. Because of His humility and servanthood He lived a life of forgiveness. And ultimately gave His life for our forgiveness.

Phillippians 2:7-8

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.  And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!

Unforgiveness is really just a uncontrolled form of pride. We can unforgiveness eat us away because we do not want the other person to be “let-off-the-hook” for what they have done. It imprisons us, and we actually become the victim, even when we may have done nothing wrong. The idea that the other person who offended us may not be effected by what they have done enrages us. They must know what they have done, right? They must pay for their unfairness, right? They cannot treat us like that, right? Well, maybe so, but we are not the judge, God is. Vengeance is not ours to get. Forgiveness is unfair! That’s right, it’s unfair.  Grace is unfair. God’s mercy is unfair. Our judgment on others might be fair in our eyes, but judgment is not ours to give. However, forgiveness is ours to give. God did not give us the gavel to judge, but He did give us the commandment to forgive. Forgiveness is not a choice, it is a requirement as a follower of Christ. It is not a suggestion. It is a commandment.

Colossians 3:13

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Forgiveness is what our spiritual life is based on. It is the door to our salvation in Christ. It is also the hinge on which our earthly relationships swing. If we are going to experience the power of God, then forgiveness must be a genuine lifestyle that we live out daily. If we are going to experience great relationships on earth we must learn to truly forgive others, no matter how unfair it may seem. The more forgiveness governs your heart, the more you will live in true freedom.

Lewis B. Smedes said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”