Here is a guest post from my good friend who is a leadership coach & more…Elmer Querubin…Enjoy as he adds some great insight!

Elmer…

When John, a fellow John Maxwell Speaker, Trainer, and Coach, asked me to write a guest blog, I was absolutely thrilled at the opportunity to add value to his fans.  I first met John through the John Maxwell training event in Orlando, FL. Out of all the wonderful team members, I connected with John the most.  When you’re around people like him, you just want to become the best version of yourself.

For the past couple weeks, John has been focusing L.I.F.E.: Leadership, Intentionality, Faith, and Endurance.  What a great concept!  If we focus on improving on those L.I.F.E. areas, imagine the possibilities and the impact we can make on our communities and even the world.  Imagine how many people we could positively inspire.  Imagine being given an opportunity and, because of the L.I.F.E. concept, being able to seize and conquer it.  We can cure disease, feed the poor, and maybe, just maybe even move mountains.

That is…until the seed of doubt appears.  Then, our “why’s” start to get smaller than our “why nots”.  We start to see our present surroundings as the only potential, and we start to believe that we aren’t making a difference in our community.  We start to lose hope and we end up going back to doing the same old thing or even doing…nothing.  Maybe we have even less than what we had before.  We lose.

I’ve experienced this feeling before and I am going through this right now as a leader of a local Air Force Base ministry called “Fuel”. Over the past seven years, I was part of the leadership team.  I have served as worship leader, leadership team development coordinator, and I’ll soon be the head leader of Fuel.  I’ve seen this ministry grow to as many as 85 young airmen, and in those days it was fun.  Now, slowly throughout the years, there has been a radical decline in attendance.  Now, there are only 4 committed members: me, my wife, another military friend, and his wife.  That is it.  I have racked my brain trying to figure out how to grow the ministry.  I’ve taught leadership lessons and met with people outside of the Fuel gathering time.  I’ve called people and reminded them to come, but so far I haven’t found a good solution.

Have you ever been in my situation?  Have you put so much effort into something that you believed in and hoped you’d make a difference, but it ends up looking like chump change?  Have you been so close to giving up?  Maybe you thought that this was God’s calling for you and you’re now wondering if this was ever a calling at all.  If you ever have had that seed of doubt, I totally understand where you’re coming from.  If you have ever failed, I’m there right now with you, brother!  If you’ve ever thought that you were never good enough, you’re preaching to choir, sister!

However, in all this ‘muck’ I’m in, I’m still smiling.  I’m still hopeful.  I’m still running the race.  Why? It is because I have instituted a concrete fail-safe, rock-solid, contingency process to ensure my L.I.F.E. plan will continue.  I have believed in and used this simple system for so long because it has continued to bless me over and over again.  This simple system is so easy you can start this process today.  I mean you can literally start implementing it within 15 minutes after reading this post.  It’s so easy that it’s three words long.  Are you ready to know what it is?

Mentorship, Mastermind, Mentoring.

 Mentorship

It’s no secret that the bible encourages us to seek advice from wise counsel.  Just check these verses out from Proverbs:

Proverbs 12:15 – The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

Proverbs 11:14 – Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

Proverbs 13:10 – By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.

Proverbs 15:12,22 – A scoffer does not like to be reproved; he will not go to the wise. Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

Proverbs 19:20 – Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.

Proverbs 24:6 – For by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.

Proverbs 27:9 – Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.

Because I grew up without a father, I first started looking for mentorship in place of a fatherly figure.  I would meet with teachers during lunch times.  I would speak with other fathers in churches.  I looked to my youth pastor and senior pastor as fatherly figures.  Because of my willingness to learn and seek guidance, it was easy for me to find mentors.  I found and still find mentors everywhere.  Some people think that an individual has to have a significant amount of calibur or place in the world in order to be their mentor. There are, of course, some guidelines that I have placed on myself in relation to my life goals.  I’ll share with you my criteria for a mentor (but, I want you to understand that yours don’t have to be the same as mine).

– Business Owners

– Ministry Leaders

– Military Leaders

– Business or Leadership Coaches

– Speakers

– Teachers

– Pastors

As a leader, I naturally look to other leaders for mentorship.  But for you, a mentor could be found in the areas of art, music, knitting, sewing, computer engineering, imagineering, or whatever your heart desires to learn.  The nuggets of wisdom that come from their experience will greatly add to your life experience.  You learn from both their successes and their mistakes so that you can have more successes and fewer mistakes.

One of the best mentors I had shared with me a great nugget of wisdom about being successful.  This mentor told me that in some years he made millions and in other years he made billions of dollars.  So, I asked him a simple question, “What three characteristics do you believe contributed to your success?”  He straightened his back, looked directly at me with convincing passion, and responded by firmly tapping his pointer finger on the table three times, “Elmer, the three characteristics you need to have are this…”  Whenever a mentor speaks with this much conviction, you prop up, pick up your pen, and listen closely. “… Elmer, you need optimism, optimism, optimism.” I already knew that I was a positive person, so I asked him to further explain himself. “Elmer, I’m talking about optimism to a higher level.  You need to go through life every day believing that what you planned out will happen they way you planned it out in full.” Wow…what a different level of thinking.  A type of thinking that doesn’t allow for mediocrity, but expects excellence.

If it wasn’t for mentorship, I wouldn’t have known about John Maxwell, Zig Ziglar, TED talks, and most of the books I’ve read.  All of which are resources and people who have added significant value to my life.  Whenever I was unfocused, needed alignment, needed direction, or need inspiration, it was mentorship that helped me process through the rough areas of my life and helped me continue this tough event called “life”.

“Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself. ” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Mastermind

“The “Master Mind” may be defined as: “Coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.” – Napoleon Hill

Have you been around a group of people who are truly positive about life?  Have you been around people who choose to look at the opportunities and potential in others?  It’s amazing!  Being around them makes me feel like I can do anything.  Then there are those who continually choose to see the negative things in life.  They look at the stupidity of people, business, and the world and focus only on that. There is no possibility, only problems.  There is no joy, only strife. Being around people such as these makes me want to say, “Life sucks…and then you die.”

The mastermind principle comes from Napoleon Hill’s book “Think and Grow Rich.” In Hill’s book he explains that Ford was able to grow personally and become rich because of who he associated with.  Ford’s association with Thomas Edison, Harvey Firestone, John Borroughs, and Luthor Burbank, all who were winners in their own right, allowed him to overcome certain barriers in himself such as illiteracy and poverty.  When you are around winners, you tend to become a winner.  We adapt the attitudes which make winners winners.  Even when we feel we have a significant faults, people who have a positive mindset will often share ways to overcome those faults.  People of this mindset actually see no faults, only challenges to the goals we have set in mind.

The opposite is true as well.  When we hang around people who view life negatively, we tend to adopt a negative attitude.  We even adopt the bad habits which contribute to a poor mindset.  As a police officer, I talk to drug junkies all the time simply because of the nature of my job.  A common question I ask them is, “How did you get into drugs?” The answer is always the same.  “A friend of mine got me into it.”

Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

I’ve heard that people disagree with this statement.  The argument is that we can overcome this through sheer will power and “go against the grain” of crowd thinking.  Although I believe part of that might be true, we have to be aware enough to understand that we are social creatures.  The power of peer groups can have significant influence on us.  There was a social study in a prestigious university where this was tested.  The experiment was set up to have participants answer questions within a group setting. All members were shown flash cards asking very simple questions like, “Which line on this piece of paper is longer than the other lines?” The twist of the experiment was that all participants but one were part of the test.  The group intentionally chose the wrong answer even when the correct answer was blatantly obvious. If you are lucky enough to see the video of the experiment, you will see how the test subject initially struggles with the group’s answers. Then during the course of the experiment, the test subject begins to submit to the power of crowd thought and, without even looking at the flash cards, willfully repeats the group’s incorrect answer.

In the movie “42” which tells the story of Jackie Robinson’s introduction into Major Baseball League, there is a scene that shows the power of peer pressure.  Robinson walks onto the field and the camera pans to a boy in the stands. Everyone around the boy, including his father, is yelling horrible racial slurs and curse words at Robinson while he is getting ready to bat. The boy looks at the crowd. He then looks at his father. Sadly, we see a change in demeanor in the boy’s face as he starts joining in with the crowd.

We have to remember that we are that little boy in the crowd.  We are subject to the people we surround ourselves with, have relationships with, and associate with. Fortunately, we have the option to choose which crowd we want to hang around with.

“Men take on the nature and the habits and the POWER OF THOUGHT of those with whom they associate in a spirit of sympathy and harmony.” – Napolean Hill

Mentoring

Alas, the final “must-have” to your best L.I.F.E. ! Mentoring.

“Remember that mentor leadership is all about serving. Jesus said, ‘For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mark 10:45)’.” ― Tony Dungy, The Mentor Leader: Secrets to Building People and Teams That Win Consistently

Coach Dungy is right! We must take what we learn from our mentors and mastermind groups and pass on the knowledge.  We don’t this for our benefit, but for the pure benefit of adding value to another person’s life.  There is something magical, I would even argue spiritually satisfying, about adding value through the venue of conversation and involvement onto and into another’s life.  Helping others is an absolute joy!  There’s nothing like it and I really can’t explain why.  It’s beautiful to see people lives change because of your influence.  You see them grow in a positive way and you see them enjoy the fruits of the the wisdom you imparted.

Here are the benefits I found in mentoring others:

1. Adding values to other adds value to me –  Whenever I lead a mastermind group, leadership study, bible study, event, or even mentor someone one on one, I find that I’m challenged in my own thinking.  I begin to look for answers to questions to which I often said, “I don’t know.”  Helping others forces you to search the best answers for the people you lead and mentor.  In that process, I find that I grow as well as a by-product of adding value to others.

2. I help people discover their purpose and my purpose in their life – Mentoring is all about finding the right questions to help others find their unique place in life.  It’s a unique relationship to where we can take what we learned about finances, marriage, business, and other life areas and add value to others in a special way.  If you have a natural knack for for finances, then let that be your gift to others and have them learn from you.  Bless them liberally with you knowledge and experience.

3. Mentoring others helps give meaning to your failures – People will learn from your mistakes…and so will you.  Mentoring allows you to be fully honest with yourself and your abilities.  Teaching others about your failures keeps you humble and it will also help others avoid the same mistakes or relate to you about making the same one.  We are inspired by successful stories, but we connect through the failures of others.

4. Mentoring elevates your perception of value and quality of your thoughts and theirs – Adding value to others will help you understand your unique value in the world.  Everyone’s history no matter how grim, scary, or horrible, has the potential to connect with or inspire others.  I haven’t met a person whose life didn’t have some form of extreme meaning.

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?'” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

One person I mentored was a young Airmen in the United States Air Force.  She was starting a group called the Air Force Junior Support which addressed two very serious problems in the military: Sexual Assault and Suicides.  Did you know from January to June there have been 17 Airmen who committed suicide? What’s surprising is that this statistic came from a local command… and there are 5 or 6 more commands in the United States Air Force.  While I was mentoring her in helping her set-up the group, her group exponentially grew. I did not suggest anything, but I helped bring greatness out of her. She came up with all the great ideas and I basically just supported her in her planning process. The group’s reputation reached the highest ranking general in the  Air Force.  In less than 8 months of building the group, the Air Force Chief of Staff asked to meet with her.  It was a great privilege for her to meet the him. The Air Force Chief of Staff then introduced her to all the the highest ranking Generals in the Air Force.

Wow.  That is the power of mentoring.  When you invest in others they will do great things because you encourage them to do great things.  I want you to dream with me a little bit.  What would it be like to mentor the future president of the United States?  What would it be like to mentor the next ‘Steve Jobs’ or the next ‘John Maxwell’? What would it feel like when they said they could not get to where they are without your mentorship?

Think about it.  It could happen.

Wrapping it Up.

I hope you understand that your L.I.F.E is unique, special, and meaningful.  Imagine how much more effective you L.I.F.E will be if you add mentorship, mastermind, and mentoring to it.  You’ll have a synergistic effect and impact so many more people in the process.

So, what will you gain if you add mentorship, mastermind, and mentoring in your life?

What will you lose if you don’t?

What’s holding you back? So, go ahead and implement this right now. Your 15 minutes starts now.

Check out all of Elmer’s resources & services @ www.cherubdefense.com

My name is Elmer, it is my goal to get you to a point where you can help yourself. I hope you will allow me to walk with you in your quest toward a secure and joyous life through our online store, self defense training, and life coaching.

I have been involved with self-defense most of my life and my repertoire includes: Tae Kwon Do, Muay Thai Kickboxing, Brazillian Jiu Jitsu, Kempo Karate, Aiki Jitsu, Western Boxing, Mande Muda Silat, and various styles of Filipino Martial Arts. I served in the United States Armed Forces as a security specialist and hope with my experience I will be able to serve you.