In one of Charles Schultz “Peanuts” Lucy says to Charlie Brown, “ Sometimes, I feel we are not communicating: You, Charlie Brown, are a foul ball in the line drive of life. You’re often in the shadow of your own goal post. You’re a miscue. You’re 3 putts on the 18th green. You are a 7-10 split in the 10th frame. You have dropped a rod and reel in the lake of life. You’re a missed free throw. You’re a shanked 9-iron, a called 3rd strike, a bug on the windshield of life! Do you understand? Have I made myself clear?”

Have you ever felt like saying something like this to someone? We have all experienced people that have either hurt us or simply frustrated us to the breaking point. It is in these moments that our influence can either break through or break down. And though it may feel good in the “moment” to let our frustrations and hurt be known, it only breaks down relationships around us. However, when we handle these moments properly our influence breaks through in a more productive way.

No one wants to be around someone that is always blowing up or getting frustrated. In fact, most people try to avoid those who are emotionally unstable. There is NO fruit in “blowing up” or “going off” on someone. There is NOTHING positive that comes from being angry and upset. But when we respond in a Godly way to people who push us we become better and better each time as we are able to handle more and more.

So how do you control your frustrations and hurts?

How do you NOT get angry?

1. Walk In Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not an event, it is a lifestyle. As followers of Christ it is not optional to forgive others…it is a commandment! A commandment is not based on how we feel, it is based on obedience. We have to wake up each day and understand that there WILL be those who hurt us. But in that understanding we must make a choice preemptively to forgive them, no matter what. Jesus walked in forgiveness, therefore, He already knew forgiveness was in the cards before anything even happened. In order to control your frustrations you have to let forgiveness guide you in all of your relationships.

2. Step Back

Sometimes our emotions in the “heat of the moment” can be too much for us to think clearly. In these moments we must find a way to step back and let the “dust settle.” Never react out of wacky emotions. Step back and let yourself get in the right frame of mind before you do something you might regret. DO NOT be the kind of person who always has to ask for forgiveness because of your uncontrollable actions in the moment. Give yourself some time to cool down and process all that is going on in order to have a better perspective on the situation. If time is not on your side, take a deep breathe and regroup in the moment.

3. Focus On The Future

Whatever you do…DO NOT live in the past. Those that dwell in the past never experience the present and forfeit their future. You can never get to a great destination if you are always staring out the rear-view-mirror of life. Have you ever experienced what I call “Angry Stew?” It is a terrible dish. Angry Stew is what we eat when we allow ourselves to think about past hurts. We think about these negative things and then they start to stew, then boil, before we know it we are more angry than we were before we started to think about it. Angry Stew is brewed up when we allow something to boil on the inside. We must focus on the future and how we are going to persevere through hurts rather than dwelling on what happened.