Please read Project F6 = Faith before you read this if you haven’t already.

Friends can make you or break you.  Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.  You WILL become like, who you hang out WITH.  It is said that you will be the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.  We are called to associate with everyone as a Christian, but we only need to make alliances with a select group.  We have to insulate ourself from the wrong kind of people.  There are 3 kinds of people that we are surrounded by… LIFTERS, DRIFTERS, and SIFTERS.  We need to get around LIFTERS and be a LIFTER to others.  Our relationships can determine our success.  We are only as good as the people we are surrounded by.  The Lone Ranger idea is a myth, even he had Tonto with him by his side.  Nothing of great significance can be done alone.  It takes a team to win the Superbowl, it takes two for a great marriage, and it takes more than one to achieve greatness.

I think there are two questions we need to ask ourselves concerning friends…

1. Are you surrounded by lifters?

What mentors and lifters do you have in your life? Who are the people that are challenging you to be better? Who are you surrounded by that is growing you and influencing you for greater things? If you have no one then how do you expect to get better? If you look around you and all you see is drifters and sifters it should be clear you will become like them as well.  You should always have at least 2-3 people who are lifting you and influencing you to be more than you are.  Preferably some of the people should be people that you know personally, but it is ok to have mentors that you do not know personally.  Maybe an author, a teacher, or someone you follow but don’t know is making a huge impact in your life, that’s ok, they are a mentor.

2. Are you a lifter to those you are surrounded by?  

The next question we need to ask is, am I lifting others up? Am I a person that others consider a lifter to them? We should always be lifted up by others and lifting others up.  We follow our leaders and lifters but should also be leading and lifting others up around us.  You should always have one hand in front of you that is following your mentors and one hand behind you that is leading your followers.  Always be pouring into other people and adding value to them.  It is when we add value to others that the same value is added to us.  Zig Ziglar says, “You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” You see what you make happen for others God will make happen for you.  Serve and lift others and others will serve your needs and lift you up.  When we take our eyes off of ourself and place them on others we will begin to find a life worth living.

We have to take time to be around the right people.  If our time is mostly spent around the wrong people we will begin to do the wrong things.  Be very careful who you spend your time with.  Either be around lifters or spend your time lifting others up.  Don’t just waste your time with other people.  Every interaction with others is an opportunity to be lifted or lift them up, don’t miss it.  Don’t be so focused on yourself that you miss an opportunity to lift someone up.

Get a map for your “Friends” time and live it out.  Here are some ideas for your Friends Map…

Project F6

Friends

Purpose: My relationships

Question: Am I encouraging and helping others 

First, take out a piece of paper and write “Friends” at the top, and then put a circle around it.  Now, using one word, write down a sub-category that you feel is the most important under the banner of “Friends” (see examples below).  Put a circle around that word and draw a line connecting this circle with the “Friends” circle.  You can have as many sub-categories as you want, but don’t go too overboard for now.  Better to start small and work your way up to more later.  Because of the nature of this area being very personal I am going to generalize the areas without giving names.  For example…some of my sub-categories for “Friends” are…

Friends

– Mentors

– Mentoring 

– Close friends

Now that you have taken the time to map out the sub-categories that are most important under “Friends”, take it one step further.  Under each sub-category begin to write down the things that will help you accomplish these areas.  For example, my things are…

Mentors 

– Personal (these are the people that I personally know that I look up to and am influenced by, I keep a list of them so I know to maximize my time when I am with them.  It helps me identify them so I am conscious of learning from them) 

– People (these are the people I don’t personally know.  They are the authors, speakers, pastors, etc… that I consider my mentors)

Mentoring  

– Leaders

– Others

Close Friends 

– Names (these are the people I consider close to me that I enjoy spending time with)  

You can continue to break down each category into action steps to help you define what you are going to do in each area.  For example here are some of my areas broken down…

Mentors 

Personal 

– Schedule Time (making a consistent time to learn from them) 

– Learning? (what am I learning from them?

People

– Names of them

Close Friends

– Schedule time 

– Events (these are things that I would like to do with some friends, some things fun, some more growth oriented)