As I was pulling up to an intersection the other day I saw this van and had to get a picture…The bumper stickers read…
“Keep honking while I reload.”
“Get in – sit down – shut up – hold on.”
“Do not start with me, you will NOT win.”
As I read this I couldn’t help but think… “Why would someone plaster so much anger on their car? What would cause someone to enjoy displaying their bitterness and revenge for everyone to see?” No offense to the car owner, but they must of had some serious hurt in their life to take the time to buy, stick on, and promote such harsh words.
But then I realized we all plaster our feelings by our attitudes for others to see. Our attitude is the display case of what is in our heart. Attitude is an inward feeling expressed by an outward behavior. So whatever is in us will come out of us. When we harbor bitterness, anger, and hurt guess what comes out? Anger, bitterness and hurt. Hurting people hurt others. Angry people anger others. But on the flip side of that…peaceful people bring peace to others. Joyful people are a joy to others. Our attitude defines us more than any other area of our life. People remember you based on your attitude not your accomplishments. We all know people who accomplish great things yet sacrifice their reputation because of their bad attitudes. We aslo know people who may not accomplish as much but leave a great impression on us because of their great attitude. Attitude can be the difference maker in who we are and who we are becoming. Tim Sanders has a great book called, “The Likability Factor“.
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The choices other people make about you determine your health, wealth, and happiness. And decades of research prove that people choose who they like. They vote for them, buy from them, marry them, and spend precious time with them. The good news is that you can arm yourself for the contest and win life’s battles for preference. How? By raising your likeability factor.
The more you are liked, the happier your life will be. In The Likeability Factor, business guru Tim Sanders shows how to build your likeability factor by teaching you how to enhance four critical elements of your personality:
Friendliness: your ability to communicate liking and openness to others
Relevance: your capacity to connect with others’ interests, wants, and needs
Empathy: your ability to recognize, acknowledge, and experience other people’s feelings
Realness: the integrity that stands behind your likeability and guarantees its authenticity
When you improve these areas and boost your likeability factor, you bring out the best in others, handle life’s challenges with grace, enjoy better health, and excel in your daily roles. You can win the close calls and tight competitions that define and determine success and happiness at work and in life—The Likeability Factor can show you how!
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People may not remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Make sure your attitude is in check at all times. It is NEVER ok to “blow up”, “lose it”, or “fly off the handle”. Let me give you some tips for the next time something happens that causes your attitude to falter…
STOP
S = Step Back
Step back from the situation and look at it from the right view point. Emotions can get all “messed up” if we don’t step back. The first thing is to take a deep breath and remove yourself from “boiling point”. This is VERY hard to do especially in the midst of a situation that is causing you to boil. Turn the heat down by stepping back otherwise you will reach the boiling point and explode.
T = Think
Think about what is happening and why. Don’t let rationality fly out the window. Think about the attitude that Jesus has set for us as an example. Think…is this worth losing my reputation and influence for? Think about the RIGHT attitude that should be displayed. Think about the way you are handling the situation.
O = Organize Your Plan
This is the time when you organize a plan of action. You may need to walk away, you may need to bring peace into the situation, you may need to apologize, you may need to kill your PRIDE (by the way if you feel you want to WIN in a heated debate and will keep going until you do, that is a good sign that pride is driving you, sorry). Make sure you asses what is the right thing to do and get a plan to do just that.
P = Proceed
Now you can move ahead with confidence that you are making the right choice. You have to follow through with what the right thing to do is. Don’t fall short and miss the last step. Proceed is to move ahead and make progress. There is no progress in tearing through yourself and others like an elephant running through the jungle destroying everything around him. Make sure you proceed with the proper attitude and response. Do the right thing!
The Bible says to have the same attitude of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 2:5-11
5 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7 but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death —
even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Jesus set the bar of what our attitude should be like. Those with the right attitude are those that will excel in life. Those with the wrong attitude are those that will lose ground and likeability in life.
“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”
~ John Wesley ~
the sad thing is that it’s a van, so possibly kids are influenced by those messages as well
It is sad. That is why it is our job to put on the right display for kids to be influenced by.
Great stuff! Everything you said is so right on. Sometimes it’s easy to think that “being yourself” means throwing every thought and feeling out, including the negative ones. The reality is that we do want to be ourselves, but to be the best versions of ourselves. We have a choice in what we put out there, and people do reflect back and respond to how we express ourselves. It creates a cycle in a very real way. So why would we choose to create a negative cycle?
Great stuff, all of life is a response to how we view it. When we display the right attitudes we create momentum in the right direction. Just like if we display negative attitudes it creates momentum in the wrong direction. Well said.
precisely. Keep up the great work.