How you talk to yourself makes a massive impact on your future.

Columbia University professor of psychology, Ethan Kross studied how using different pronouns in your self-talk affects your performance. He formed two groups of people who were told they had to give a speech to a large group of people with only five minutes of preparation. On top of the already high stressed situation, he stated that this large group of people listening would be speech experts judging them and their presentation would also be videotaped.

Both groups were told that positive self-talk would alleviate their stress and help their chances of being better communicators. One group was instructed to refer to themselves in first-person using the word, “I” in their self-talk. The other group was instructed to refer to themselves in second or third-person, using their name or the word, “you.” Kross’ study found that the second group who used second-person and third-person self-talk were considerably less stressed and performed significantly better in their presentations.” What we find is that a subtle linguistic shift—shifting from ‘I’ to your own name—can have really powerful self-regulatory effects,” Kross told NPR. “It’s almost like you are duping yourself into thinking about you as though you were another person,” Kross said.

You need to talk to yourself just as you would another person. Use your specific name to refer to yourself, and it will boost your confidence. Using your own name allows you to separate yourself from the challenges around you. It lifts you to a high vantage point above the situations you’re in. Speak to yourself as though you are already the person you desire to be. Every day is an audition for the person you want to become.

Remember, Life and death are in the power of the tongue according to Proverbs 18:21.