Years ago, the famous author Jim Collins wrote about a phenomenon that became known as The Stockdale Paradox. In fact, this is something in Psychology that is a mind-blowing reality. The better we grasp and accept this reality, the greater our opportunity to persevere through anything.  

The story of Admiral Jim Stockdale is unlike any other. He was the highest-ranking United States military officer during the “Hanoi Hilton” prisoner of war camp in Vietnam. He endured unimaginable torture, punishment without hope for release, as well as an impending thought that he may never see his family again- all while being a POW from 1965 to 1973. 

Historians have widely written about Admiral Jim Stockdale’s experience at Hanoi Hilton due to its uniqueness among many prisoners who were incarcerated there under brutal conditions: extreme isolation coupled with long periods of solitary confinement; starvation rations (two cups each day); crude medical care (no doctors or medicines except aspirin); and lack of contact with fellow prisoners.

Thankfully, Admiral Jim Stockdale survived the harsh conditions of a prisoner camp horrible enough to break many men. He and his wife wrote about the experience in a touching book called In Love And War. 

In his book, Good To Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t, Jim Collins shares a personal encounter he had with Admiral Stockdale:

“I never lost faith in the end of the story,” he said, when I asked him. “I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

I didn’t say anything for many minutes, and we continued the slow walk toward the faculty club, Stockdale limping and arc-swinging his stiff leg that had never fully recovered from repeated torture. Finally, after about a hundred meters of silence, I asked, “Who didn’t make it out?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” he said. “The optimists.”“The optimists? I don’t understand,” I said, now completely confused, given what he’d said a hundred meters earlier.“

The optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”Another long pause, and more walking. 

Then he turned to me and said, “This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

The Stockdale Paradox is the balance between being optimistic while facing the real truth of your situation. You see, optimism is a great thing, but left on its own without being checked can lead to an unrealistic expectation. It’s not pessimistic to recognize the brutal facts of your situation. The Stockdale Paradox shows us that the most powerful attitude to possess is what I call a disciplined optimism. It’s the ability to hold on to hope and faith, but also be disciplined to power through the hardships of the situation. 

Successful people practice The Stockdale Paradox. They intrinsically know there is a balance between being optimistic and honest about the current reality. It’s in the balance that we gain what we need to persevere through any circumstance. We can’t debate between being pessimists, optimists, and realists; we just need to move forward into the future. I read this great illustration from someone who knows how to move forward. 

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water, I DRANK IT. 
Sincerely, The Opportunist

I love that note! We need to be opportunists who are simply making the best of every situation we face. As a leader, you have to live by The Stockdale Paradox. Don’t bury your head and brush the brutal facts under the rug, but face the reality head-on with optimism and opportunity.

Admiral Stockdale’s inspirational story is one I love to share because it tells us about someone who persevered through difficult circumstances while maintaining an optimistic outlook on life.  

Here is a link to Jim’s book documenting his amazing story…

In Love and War: The Story of a Family’s Ordeal and Sacrifice During the Vietnam Years