How do you want people to feel when they leave your presence? Have you ever asked yourself that question?

We all leave someone’s presence with something.  Sometimes we leave with encouragement, sometimes we leave with frustration.  How do you want people to feel when they leave you? What do you want them to take away from your interaction? What kind of person do you want to be?

Years ago I met a man during a conference I was speaking at.  He was one of the guest speakers at the conference as well and we were introduced.  I will never forget how I felt every time I left this guy’s presence.  We spent the weekend together backstage talking and interacting.  It so happened that we were staying at the same hotel, so we had breakfast as well.  He was a lifter that exuded encouragement.  He made such an impact on me in such a short time, because of his ability to connect.

It has been said that there are 2 kinds of people that walk into a room…the first are the ones who say, “Here I am.”…the others the ones who say, “There you are.” The later ones are the ones who connect and lift others up.  Their focus is not on themselves but on those they are around.  The first group who says, “Here I am.” only focus on themselves and build themselves up to everyone else.  They may seem very impressive but they will always fail to connect with others.  Those that genuinely take an interest in you will always be the ones that connect with you.  So what kind of person are you? Does your conversation revolve around you? Or does your conversation revolve around others? When we lift others up…we get to go with them.  When we lift ourselves up…we go alone.

How do you connect with others and lift them higher?

1. Say Their Name

The most important word to someone is their name.  If you can remember their name and call them by name you connect on a personal level.  Never underestimate the importance of knowing someone’s name, it can be the difference maker.

2. Focus On Their Story

Ask questions about what is going in their life.  As Steven Covey said, “Seek first to understand then you’ll be understood.” Everyone loves to talk about their dreams, hopes, and goals.  Focus on what is going on in their world and add value to them by encouraging them on their journey.

3. Always Compliment Them

Whenever you are with someone try to find something about them to compliment.  But you must make it genuine not robotic.  There is nothing worse than a fake.  Take notice of something they said or did and praise them for it.  Everyone loves to be complimented and valued for things they did.  Always find ways to spur someone on and brighten their day.

Take some time this week to reflect on your interaction with others.  See what your conversations revolve around.  Intentionally keep the conversation about lifting others up and adding value to them.  The more we add value to others the more valuable we become.  Be the kind of person that others walk away from feeling better off than they did before they were with you.